Withered World Fact

The new Season Hamble was added to the new calender due to the earths axis shift. Generally Hamble is seen to be a drizzly season...

The new summer months are generally Janril, Febtober and Marchuary.

Staff Register

Professor Nebulous  Winner of 3 Golden Brains, 1 Bronze Brain, 2 Noble Prizes and a BOFTA, Professor Nebulous is the leader of K.E.N.T. and inventor of the cancer-curing sandwich (marmalade and cucumber). Born into a generation of Circus Performers his parents were dismayed when young Nebulous showed more of an aptitude for nuclear science than red noses and pratfalls. The unfortunate events of Ventnor and the accidental destruction of the Isle of Wight reduced his status in the Post-Withering Science Community to that of an ironing board, which was deemed rather apt when his Government Department was forced to become a laundry service to supplement its slashed budget.

Favourite pastime  Penta-dimensional Snakes and Ladders (Semi-Jurassic Variation).

Harry Hayes  Inventor of The Cow-rocket, Harry had the misfortune to be in the way when Prof. Nebulous tried to move the Isle of Wight, which resulted in his horrible disfigurement. So far the body parts now known to be missing from Harry, thanks to archived Holofile recordings and the K.E.N.T staffs inopportune statements, are his chin, mouth, nose, one hand, toes (all ten), both legs and heart. Harrys voice box is also missing and was replaced by a Vox-Box which due to either malice or malfunction is permanently set at its highest volume setting.

Favourite music  101 Fatal Car Crashes.

Staff Register

GEMINI  K.E.N.T.s resident AI and wash-setting analyst. Not much is know about the post-Withering technology that created GEMINI 1100, but her name hints at a twin computer intelligence which has otherwise been undiscovered. She was installed at KENT HQ by Proffessor Nebulous 23rd Octember 2092.

Favourite Computer Icon  HAL9000

Rory Lawson  Right-hand, and left-hand, man to Prof. Nebulous Rory yearns for the covert ops action and explosive confrontations of a top profile Government Agent but has to make do with bulk knicker wash cycles and variable steam settings. A self-confessed, but unproven, ladies man Rory once made a passionate pass at fellow employee Paula Breeze but managed to recover his eyesight (and self-esteem) when the mind fog cleared.

Con-currently employed at K.E.N.T. and on holiday, due to time-quake pulses, in Quantumshire.

Paula Breeze  Fresh from Essex Highly TeKnical College and with a pocketful of diplomas and citations photocopied and with the names Tippexed out, Paula had proven to be not so much as an asset to K.E.N.T. but something only half that! Infatuated with Prof. Nebulous she can think of nothing better than cosying up with the enigmatic Professor next to a roaring fireplace and flipping through holiday brochures for boating holidays in The Watford Peaks, or a fortnights-millennium in Frothy-norman-shire. She has no sense of smell after being struck by a cricket ball at Lords cricket ground.

Favourite alien  Leo  The Sporty One (of the Lovely).

Staff Register

Sir Ronald Rolands  Former Government Minister for Foreign Vagaries and Head of C-I2I, Sir Ronald was on the verge of retirement (unrequested) when K.E.N.T. was formed. In a post-Withered continent he was tasked with creating a task-force who could perform the tasks required and investigate the almost bizarre landscape and occurrences that now faced the remaining population.

Favourite colour  duck-egg red. Least favourite colour  garrow.

Other Characters

Dr Joseph Klench   After discovering the edible cactus Quimp, Klench became a force to be reckoned with, but his constant planning to take over the world forced other issues (like sanity and where he left his library card) to lead to his downfall. He was incarcerated in Strangmore Maximum Security Prism (a crystalinne prison cell) after Professor Nebulous and K.E.N.T. destroyed the mind controlling Quimp.

Not to be confused with The Klunch a horrific monster with a spiky tail.

Dr Erica Flazenby   Formerly engaged to Nebulous, the equally blindingly intelligent and seductively proportioned scientist now leads one of the crack units from L.O.U.G.H.B.O.R.O.U.G.H. Aided by the muscular headed Craig she is constantly flying around the country from one reality meltdown to the next in her sleek, black unmarked helicopter.

Agent Craig  Equally at home with a bazer pistol or a large steakpie  Craig is the loyal employee assigned by L.O.U.G.H.B.O.R.O.U.G.H. to protect Erica Flazenby. Currently working on his auto-biography with the working title 'Those I Have Coshed...With A Deep Degree Of Satisfaction'.

Koreshi and Dennis Yashamoto   The twin prime ministers of England. Due to a copying error the twins became co-operative Heads Of State. They report directly to the reigning Triplet Queens.

Jack Barrabus Winslow   The Director of Global Corp, co founder of The Global Bank (due to no other banks having room for all his assets), creator of Project Sunburst and richest organism on the planet. Nebulous once calculated that with his wealth Winslow could afford to buy his own body weight in diamonds every hour, on the hour, for a whole week, once a year for the rest of his life...as a treat!

Dr Donald McQuasar   Mentor to Nebulous at University the mild mannered pacifist became famous for creating a gun that shot at itself and selling a quarter of a million to the Nu-Kamikazee Army...and never getting paid after their delivery.

His current invention is yet to be unveiled.

Gerald Corrigan   Managing Director of Vartox Paints 'Home of the Matt Gloss' and home to worlds first new colour garrow.

Valerie Brunnerberg   The only woman to combine a career as a brilliant scientist and stunning fashion and lingerie model. Inventor of the Sub Optical Light Illuminator (SOLI) and published author. Her article on Inaudible Static was a world wide sensation (but many people said it was mainly due to it's centre spread section).

Monk 99   One of the many followers of The Merciful Bod, the new religion pieced together after theologians sifted through all post Withering sacraments and discovered the Four True Deities that were seemingly followed before The Withering ; Ying and Yang (the evil twins), Feng Shui (the destroyer), and Merciful Bod himself.

Dr Diplodicus (pronounced Dip-low-doh-cus)   Head of Research and inventor of The Deptford Wives. All the genetically recreated wives are bred on the island of Deptford which is now, Post-Withering, located in the Indonesian Ocean and one of The Cockney Islands.

Debbie   Production-line,genetically created wive of Harry (amongst others) who's only task in life is to serve, serve and serve again!

Brett Tarron   Director of H.I.V.E. and entomologist supreme. Creator of The Bosp - a bee/wasp hybrid combining the the yellow stripes of the bee with the black of the wasp.

Linda Adnil Creator of Temporal Tours; a time travelling holiday experience that proves to be both relaxing and dangerous for the K.E.N.T. operatives when tasked to investigate its safety margin.

Franabelle A mysterious but gorgeous scientist who worked for Membrick on it's Moon Base. Strange things tend to happen in her vicinity...but why?

The Sirius Creators of the largest TV Network in the universe hosting such delights as - You've Been Invaded, The Subjugation Game and Who Wants To Be A Minion.

Bocco Bocconucci Good Old Bocco!

Bobina Nebulous's arranged clown marriage partner. Both he and Bobina were only approximately 10 years old!